change of plans…i’m home now :)

so here i sit, back in my house, back on the floor of the bathroom at night while everyone else is in bed…..i still don’t really know why i always end up in here to write or read or pray at night….instead of somewhere comfortable like the couch downstairs…i think i feel like i’m closer to being ready to jump into bed if i’m in the bathroom where i could theoretically be brushing my teeth or something :)

last day of class. i still swear studio lighting is of the devil. mandy tells me i will not always feel this way. i’m not sure i believe her yet ;) i looked so horribly tired this morning that i made kristen and joel promise that the practice portraits they took of me would not end up on the internet. anywhere. ever. yes, it was that bad.

photo retouching — sooooo much freaking fun. i LOVE photoshop….too bad i don’t have $700 laying around….

class ended around 4. it is crazy what a week can do to strangers. i said goodbye to some really good friends today. Mandy, Rowan, Kristen and I were the only ones sticking around till Saturday, so we decided to head to Fredericksburg for some volleyball at the Danahers. i packed up all my stuff and figured i’d get home from there somehow. changes of plans keep my life interesting.

so i got back to my world. and it was sweet times. i was so happy to see mandy, rowan and kristen join that world for a little while. for them to meet my sis and bro, who came to hang out and bring me back home…i was glad they got to see me in my natural habitat. after a long week, it was really nice to be in a home. a real home.

so then i got  back to MY home. jenn and i had a lot of catching up to do. hence the hour of this post. i think back and can’t believe how fast this week went by. i’m so grateful for every day. it was not just a good week. it was a crazy good week. like, i had so much fun. i can’t even believe it. i’m so glad God didn’t let me waste much time worrying about it. i’m so grateful i had you all behind me, praying for me. i know God heard those prayers. I know He answered in His wisdom and mercy.

life goes on from here. it doesn’t stop and wait for me to get enough sleep to feel human again. it doesn’t stop and wait for me to process the past before its time to live the present. i have alot i’m looking forward to in the next few weeks. a lot more craziness. a lot more chances to know Jesus better. and having walked through this past week without fear of the unknowns, i feel hope and peace about walking into whatever is ahead of me.

i’m really planning on getting all my pics up as soon as i can. that’ll probably happen next week. haha. maybe. while i’m packing for mexico and everything.

alright. i hope you all weren’t bored to death this week. blogging will probably cease for a while. i have a habit of doing that. but you never know….:)


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my feet hurt

i think we walked 5 bajillion miles today with all our camera gear. my feet are in pain. my shins are in pain. but thankfully my hip stopped hurting. i had to switch my camera bag from the sling to the backpack because it was making one leg work harder than the other to shift all the camera weight around. not fun. but i found out that the backpack position is extremely comfortable with this bag, so that is good to know.

i am SO behind on posting pictures on facebook that i feel like it’s going to be incredibly anticlimactic when i finally get them all up :) but i’m trying, guys, really i am. i’ll get them all on facebook before i leave for mexico. that is my goal.

so this morning we left bright at early (by which i mean 8am) to take couple portraits of Penny and Brandi (see last post to find out who they are). We walked a mile to the FDR memorial and were given our assignment. We would each scope out a location in the memorial, shoot them on our own, and then at the end we would do a group shoot (one shooter, two reflector holders and a flash holder.) I thought to myself, “as long as i don’t have to go first….and as long as i’m not the shooter in the group shoot…i’ll be fine….”………famous last words :)

So yeah. I definitely was the first one up for taking portraits. We had to use an off-camera flash and a reflector. I had prayed in the morning that God would give me the questions to ask, and in the five minutes I had to get ready for the shoot, the questions started popping out…flashes are devilishly difficult for me to use, so Mandy was great and walked me thru it again…wouldn’t be the last time of the day….I had Kristen assisting me, and right before we went to find Penny and Brandi to get started, i looked at her and was like “heyy, how about we PRAY before starting this!” So we did. And God gave so much grace. It was hard, I was a little stressed, but I was still having fun.

And yes, I definitely got assigned shooter for the group shoot. We did all sorts of cool stuff with flashes for that. Looked like we were professionals or something…:)

oh oh oh!!!! thousand hour challenge:

We shot at Arlington Cemetary this evening, and did a sunset shoot at the Lincoln memorial.

I feel like today I finally got to spend some one-on-one time with each of the girls here. It was really fun. I really like these girls. All three of them are SO different in personality and life experiences and life goals. Lots of laughs today. Lots of laughs all week, actually. God is so good to us.

Ok. I have to go pick out an image for a contest tomorrow and then get some sleeeeeeeep so i can stay awake for our last crazy-packed day.

Thanks again for praying for me.
see you sooooooooooon.

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my turn

so every night, someone in our group is supposed to write an update for the IPS website. tonight’s my night. so here we go.

Wednesday. Today was beautiful. Class didn’t start till 10:15am, which was even more beautiful after late night photo editing :)

Most exciting assignment: 1000 Hour Challenge. That’s right, folks. 1000 images in 1 hour. We synced the clocks on our cameras, were assigned a specific number of shots (we split the 1000 between all of us), and had to find a starting location where we could not see any other classmate. Black & white only. The idea is to put them all into a video in chronological order. We had all of Union Station, inside and out to shoot in. It will be crazy fun to see it all together. 5:30 hit. We we off. It was a BLAST. I got my 150 images done with 15 minutes to spare. There were lots of laughs to go around, and we ended the night with some amazing Chicago style pizza.

Most exciting experience: Sitting at a table eating aforementioned amazing pizza with Penny and Brandy, some friends of Rowan’s who came by to shoot with us tonight and be our models tomorrow. It was crazy encouraging to sit, listen, talk and laugh with some people who are living the answers to some of the questions that are dancing around in my head and heart as I seek God about what part photography is supposed to play in this life of mine. I’m thankful for the gift of getting to spend a few hours learning from the lives of a man and woman who love Jesus and love people and who want to see people’s hearts changed by the love of Jesus and the Spirit of God. And they love photography too :) It’s a pretty sweet combo.

There is way more that could be said. But sleep is of greater immediate importance to make it through the second half of this week. God’s mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

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Short and sweet because it’s 2am….

Dirty feet. Very dirty, tired, happy feet.

Walked all over today. Took portraits of the stunningly beautiful Abby Vander Hamm. Downed at least 40 oz. of cherry coke at dinner. Ate a hamburger with a sunny-side up egg and bacon on it. Super good. Because of friends of friends, our group got an after-hours tour of the capital building at night. We got back at 11pm to start working on our photo processing assignment. I’m almost done with that. We were given a new assignment too, in light of the cool capital building shots we got to take :) And I really want a shower. So. Maybe I’ll be in bed by 3:30….

Moral of the story: Lindsey is rejoicing that class doesn’t start till 10:15am tomor—uh…today :)

Thanks guys, again, for praying. I can feel His joy and His strength and His love. I pray that you can too.

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“Youuu are myyyy holidayyyyy”

God. Home. Vision. Mission. Lightroom2. Cold coffee shop. Walking outside. Meeting new people. Catching up with old people. Flashes and sync cords. Practicing skillz. Bob the joby tripod. Bibles. Beads. Cards. Tea. Crayons. Flip-flops.  Chipotle. Telling new friends about foster care and mexico city. Hugs. Peace. Grace. Assignment. Iced Chai Tea Latte. Chat. Call home. Phone prayers…..

So here I am now, on my bed in my tiny room, finally warm in my orange hoodie.
I just turned on Shane&Shane’s song “Holiday” (hence the title of this post) because it just seemed…right.

I had no idea what to expect of this day. I had a few minutes before breakfast to continue my study in Philippians.
“But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious  body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.” (3:20-21)

Home. This world is not my home. I forget that a lot. I forget that I’m waiting for something better. Something more real than this. I forget that Jesus is coming back. I forget some days that the end of sin is coming, “the end of sickness, separation, and pain – the day we come into our inheritance. After all the years as aliens in a foreign land, we’ll be home with the One we love.”

“…Our destination defines our identity…In truth, any place on earth we citizens of heaven inhabit should becomes a little more like heaven because of our presence…”

Remembering those things this morning…remembering Who I belong to, and who I am as a child of God, a citizen of heaven and not of this world….it made me unafraid. I wasn’t scared of breaking in and getting to know these people who have already been together for a week. I wasn’t scared of answering questions when everyone else was being silent in class. I wasn’t scared of not being able to think of creative ideas for photo assignments. I wasn’t afraid to try new things (even new food at lunch….:) I wasn’t afraid of asking questions. I wasn’t freaking out because of not having a schedule to follow (don’t laugh :) I sat here on my bed a few minutes ago trying to think about how to define this day that just passed…and as I thought back thru the day, i seriously looked up at sarah and said, “i…i don’t think i was afraid of anything today.”

God is more good than I ever expect Him to be. His love rained down like a thunderstorm today. And I had a lot of fun playing in that rain :) Thank you for your prayers. Our glorious God is hearing and answering. I am humbled, and grateful. If you think of it, you can also pray for the other students. They are on week 2 of all this, so they’re a little more tired than I am and I think they could use some encouragement. Their names are Hope, Kristen, Meagan, and Joel. And Rowan and Mandy are our instructors, who have been on the road for longer than just these two weeks. Thanks guys. Hope and pray that the adventures of your week lead you closer to home, closer to Jesus. And now here are some photos to reward you for getting to the end of this rant.

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a tiny room in a really big house…and i’m a little long-winded :)


finished up my week of dog sitting and house cleaning for the bentz’s. grateful that the upstairs AC seems to have fixed itself overnight.

sermon title:
Security blankets, camels and monkies

jason schubert’s first sermon at grace-pres:
SO GOOD. (if you go to my church and you missed it — get a cd…tho it def won’t be the same without being able to see the props :)  about how we so easily put our security in our riches or in our righteousness. and how as a child of God, our security comes in giving up your mark of security in this world, and trusting Jesus. it comes in loving and giving and waiting for the kingdom of God to come as we have been promised eternal life.

father’s day:
i love my dad. he’s INCREDIBLE. the more i spend time with girls who don’t have dads, or who don’t have relationships with their dads, the more deeply i realize the gift God has given me…my dad provides for me, he protects me, he cares about my life and my heart and my future and my plans, he is very wise and loves and trusts God to take care of us and provide for us….he leads our family…and i praise God for his life, without which i would not be here :) and i’m really thankful for all the chances God has given in the last few years for me to share my dad with some of my friends who don’t have dads involved in their lives….
really sweet time with the extended fam. when we all get together, we have 7 kids ages 6 and under running around :) really hard stuff going on, stuff I really don’t understand. but God is bringing us together in His love and its been really cool to watch Him work.

hotel in DC:
in true IPS fashion, the sketchiness of this hotel outdoes last year. (sarah argued this fact with me while we were walking up the windy staircase to the top floor (4th) where my room is….but at least the hotel last year looked like a legit hotel…this one is more like a tall skinny row house that happens to have halls of rooms in it….)

my room:
tiny. everything in it is tiny except the bed and the desk, which i will be sharing with sarah for the rest of the week…but tonight i’m here alone. the bathroom is especially tiny. the sink is like the size of a book….a big book… its all very cute though :) and i like the pillow cases. which is important, because i left my pillows at home to cut down on things i have to carry back with me on the metro saturday. this was a big step. i am VERY fond of my pillows.

my major malfunction tonight:
i have this constant feeling that i’m forgetting to do something. the insanity of the last few weeks has made me unable to believe that i have no responsibilities tonight besides going to bed. funny. i should try to enjoy it :)

Song line dancing thru my head:
“All of the walls in the rooms of the house are the usual shape and size…I’m just a person who can’t be for certain that I’m gonna fit inside” (sandra mccracken)

there you have it. i took no pictures today at all. i figure i’ve had my fill this past week, and i’ll get my fill this coming week. this was a day of REST :)

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“so take me as You find me, all my fears and failures…fill my life again…I give my life to follow…”

This is an hour later than I planned to go to bed tonight, but since I know I won’t have time for this tomorrow….what’s a few more sleep-deprived minutes? :)

Some of you know, some of you don’t, but I’m heading to DC tomorrow for a week-long photography workshop. It’s part 2 of the class I took last summer. And I feel the need to ask for prayer support…..

Last year’s class was HUGE and it was a hard week in a lot of ways (some good ways, some not-so-good ways….) This year it’s 5 students, including me, and two instructors. I’m REALLY looking forward to that. But as I’ve been running around like a mad woman the last few days (dog sitting/house cleaning all week, finishing up 2 HUGE projects before my trip, getting the ball rolling towards enrolling in college this fall, helping take care of my nieces and nephews who are staying with us till Tuesday….just to name a few pieces of the pie :) I finally got a chance today to stop and think about leaving tomorrow, and a lot of mixed feelings came with it. And as if to prove that He hasn’t forgotten about me in all this, and that He has GOOD plans for this week ahead of me, God sent a barrage of encouragement tonight through the words and prayers of my mom and dad, siblings and some really good friends. I’m so thankful for them. And for all of you who have prayed me through all sorts of insanity. So here we go again :)

Here are a few things to pray for Lindsey if she comes to your mind this week:
– humility and teachableness….i want to be ready to be challenged and learn and grow in photography
– good relationships with the other students and instructors
– pray for QUESTIONS…i am really bad at asking questions, and a lot of times i feel like i don’t even know what questions to ask…but these instructors know SO MUCH about what they do…pray that God would give me the right questions to ask to learn what I need to learn to be able to use my camera to bring Him joy and honor.
– confidence in who I am in Jesus…..that i wouldn’t be afraid of not fitting the mold of “model photographer”, but that i would just…be the person God created me to be :)
– and my BIGGEST request: self-forgetfulness. i want more than anything to go into this week forgetting about myself, and just loving God and loving the people He puts in each day. My eyes so easily get focused on myself and my agenda. I want that to change. I want to learn to more deeply care for others than I care for myself.

so. that said, bring it on :)

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